Friday, November 06, 2009

My Impatience Your Gain

You’re about to benefit from my impatience. Doiling out the second paragraph of the first chapter of Divine Misedeamors a line a day is driving me as crazy as doiling out the first paragraph of the first chapter of Divine Misdemeanors was driving me a day or so ago. Then my impatience led me to put up the entire first paragraph. Did you guess? Yes, here is the entire second, third, fourth, and fifth paragraph. I hope I get the PDF of the entire first chapter soon so I can stop teasing you guys with hints, and driving myself to impatient distraction. Enjoy.

 The spicy smell of the Eucalyptus could almost hide the scent of blood. If it had been this many adult human-sized bodies the Euclyptus wouldn’t have had a chance, but they weren’t adult-sized. They were tiny by human standards, so tiny, the size of dolls; none of the corpses were even a foot tall, and some were less than five inches. They lay on the ground with their bright butterfly and moth wings frozen as if in mid-movement. Their dead hands were wrapped around wilted flowers like a cheerful game gone horribly wrong. They looked like so many broken Barbie dolls, except that Barbie dolls never lay so lifelike, or so perfectly poised. No matter how hard I’d tried as a little girl, their limbs remained stiff and unyielding. The bodies on the ground were stiff with rigor mortis, but they’d been laid out carefully, so they had stiffened in stragely graceful, almost dancing poses.

 Detective Lucy Tate came to stand beside me. She was wearing a pants suit complete with jacket and a white button-up shirt that strained a little across the front because Lucy, like me, had too much figure for most button-up shirts. But I wasn’t a police detective so I didn’t have to pretend I was a man to try to fit in, I worked at a private detective agency that used the fact that I was Princess Meredith, the only American-born fey royal, and back working for the Grey Detective Agency: Supernatural Problems; Magial Solutions. People loved paying money to see the princess, and have her hear their problems; I’d begun to feel a little like a freak show until today. Today I would have loved to be back in the office listening to some mundane matter that didn’t really need my special brand of help, but was just a human rich enough to pay for my time. I’d have rather been doing a lot of things than standing here staring down at a dozen dead fey.

 “What do you think?” she asked.

 What I really thought was that I was glad the bodies were small so that the trees covered most of the smell, but that would be admitting weakness, and you didn’t do that on the rare occasions you got to work with the police. You had to be professional and tough or they thought less of you, even the female cops, maybe especially them.

 

Posted by LKH on 11/06 at 10:39 PM

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Tuesday, November 03, 2009

First Paragraph of Divine Misdemeanors

I had this great idea that I’d put a line a day of the first chapter of Divine Misdemeanors up on Twitter, which would also hit Face Book, and would through techie help be disseminated through my Forum, and My Space, but having done it for two days it’s driving me crazy. It’s like no progress. If I was a fan of someone’s writing it would just drive me to distraction in such little bits. So I’ve talked to my publisher about getting the PDF fo the first chapter and I will put it up when I get it.

I have no way of knowing when I will get it. Soon, but no idea when soon will be. But in the spirit of good will and not making you guys wait a line at a time I’m putting the first paragraph of DIVINE MISDEMEANORS here:

"The smell of Eucalyptus always made me think of Southern California, my home away from home; now it might forever be entwined with the scent, of blood. I stood there with the strangely hot wind rustling through the high leaves. It blew my summer dress in a tangle around my legs, and spread my shoulder-length hair in a scarlet web across my face. I grabbed my hair in handfuls so I could see, though maybe not being able to see would have been better. The plastic gloves pulled at my hair. They were designed so I didn’t contaminate evidence, not for comfort. We were surrounded by a nearly perfect circle of the tall, pale tree trunks. In the middle of the natural circle were the bodies."

Posted by LKH on 11/03 at 12:12 PM

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Monday, November 02, 2009

Tonight’s workout

My doctor cleared me for the gym tonight. Yay! So here’s the workout. All exercises are 3 X 12 which is 3 reps of 12 each.

Flat bench dumbbell press - a paltry 10 pounds but the goal is no more injuries.

Incline Press machine - 40 pounds. Yay!

Dumbbell fly again only 10 pounds but it was done on the pilâtes ball, and again goal is no more injuries.

Seated overhead shoulder dumbbell press 10 pounds on the ball.

Standing upright row again with 10 pounds. Bah, but I’ll get to go back tomorrow because I behaved myself.

Lateral Raises - 30 pounds. Yay! But I felt those. It’s always been a weaker exercise for me.

Standing cable press downs - 20 pounds.

Triceps kickback - Again a paltry 10 pounds, but I have to remember I just got cleared by doc to hit gym again this afternoon. So it’s all good.

I also did 15 minutes on treadmill and that’s still more than I’ve been able to do in nearly a year. So happy there, too.

We also did stretching exercises with the foam rollers after treadmill and before the weights.

Abs: crunches again 3 X 12 just with no weights. Bicycle crunches with leg extensions 3 X 12 per leg so 24 at a shot. I felt those after this long a break.

One ab machine: can’t remember what its called. It’s the twisty one. *shakes head* Can’t remember.

 

Posted by LKH on 11/02 at 10:30 PM

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Friday, October 30, 2009

Busy Day & Tour Dates for Divine Misdemeanors

Today I have:

Worked on an essay that’s due November 1st. It’s part of the promotion for DIVINE MISDEMEANORS. I have at least one more essay that has been due for awhile and has a sort of when-I-can-get-it-to-them deadline.

Added three new lines to the final proofs of Divine Misdemeanors in answer to a query from New York.

Talked to my Random House publicist on phone, plus 3 e-mails from him.

Got in the page proofs of FLIRT. Due ASAP.

Got in the abridged script for the audio book of THE KILLING DANCE. Due back with any changes wanted in a week. Ha, ha, ha! No, really a week.

Looked over first cover copy for next-next Anita Blake novel. Was asked when I will have first 100 pages of the book so they might get an excerpt to go on the cover which they’re doing art work for now.

Looked over the final pencils for the newest Anita Blake comic.

Looked over colors of same comic one of which I shared on Twitter.

I have never, ever had so many books cross my desk all with such tight deadlines in my entire career. I’m not sure how this happened, but I’d like to figure it out and make sure it never happens again.

All that to say that we are doing a very brief tour for DIVINE MISDEMEANORS. I’m sorry folks, but I can’t go out for a week, or six weeks which I’ve done in the past, and make the deadline for the next book. The choice is a long tour and see lot’s of you, or a brief tour and you get two Anita Blake novels next year. I short changed the tour for the last Anita novel, SKIN TRADE, to make sure you got a Merry book this year.

So, for all those that I won’t see this tour, sorry, but I am not Superwoman, or even Superwriter. Since there is no "S" tattooed on my chest, I had to make a choice. I chose to get the books out. Here are the signings I’m doing for Divine Misdemeanors.

 

December 8, 2009

7:00 pm

Talk & Signing

Barnes & Noble

7881 Edinger Avenue

Huntington Beach, CA 92647

Store Phone: 714/897-8781

December 11, 2009

7:00 pm

Talk & Signing sponsored by Powell’s

Bagdad Theater

3702 S.E. Hawthorne Blvd.

Portland, OR 97214

Posted by LKH on 10/30 at 04:55 PM

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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Defending Jean-Claude’s honor at the Tupperware Party

Once I went to a Tupperware party as a favor to a good friend. She needed so many bodies to fill out her quota so I went, as a favor. I’d had a few odd instances with fans being overly fond of my Anita Blake novels, and I’d even had some disturbing moments with readers being overly interested in my fictional men, but I thought, it’s a Tupperware party I’ll be safe. I was about to be very wrong.

It turned out that most of the women were fans of mine which was flattering, but they started talking about my characters, my male characters, and speculating on the size of their, um, equpment. They were debating on Richard and Jean-Claude. This was early in the series. I sat behind them on my little chair and thought in my head very loudly, "Don’t realize its me. Don’t realize it’s me. Please no one out me. Please, God." God was busy that day, and let’s face it on the grand scheme of things a little embarrassment isn’t a tradgey.

One woman did know me, and of course my friend knew me, traitor. The woman I knew said, "I know someone that can answer the question." They all turned with her and suddenly I was the center of attention. "Laurell would know," she said.

I blinked like a deer in headlights. I thought maybe if I say nothing, pretend I didn’t hear the earlier conversation they wouldn’t have the heart to say it all over again. Wrong again, they were relentless. I’d actually been asked this before so I had my answer, "If Jean-Claude were real, and really my boyfriend I wouldn’t kiss and tell."

Most of the women nodded, but two of them did not. They persisted in trying to get me to list his size in inches. I refused, politely. Finally one of the women held up a cooking thing she’d won answering some question or other. It was a little plastic thing a cross between a spoon and a cup meant to dip into water and lift out hard-boiled eggs.Someone had explained what it was to me early. It was vaguely egg shaped with a hole in the bottom for the water to drain out. She raised it up, ran her finger around the edge of the hole and said, "Smaller than this, or bigger than this?"

How could I possibly get out of this conversation? The women started saying that Jean-Claude would have to be smaller than the hole because the hole was pretty big. I remember thinking its not a big hole. They finally insulted him by assuming on my behalf that he was smaller than that, and that did it. I had to defend his honor. I shook my head and said, "I don’t think so, that’s a really small hole."

They stared at me. I blinked back. They were happy with the answer. I was glad they moved onto a different topic. It had been a very small hole.

Posted by LKH on 10/29 at 09:04 PM

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

My Reading Pile

People ask me if I read other people’s books. I usually say, for research. They say, what do you read for pleasure? Reading for pleasure? Do I do that? Most people have a reading stack, books they plan to get around to reading, or are currently reading. I didn’t have a stack, I had three stacks. All were five to seven books high depending on the thickness of the books. I decided things had gotten out of hand at that point, so I whittled the stack down to one and moved the other books onto shelves. I’ve been doing that for months. Let’s face it, I don’t have a reading stack I have a reading pile.

Even I didn’t realize how bad things had gotten until I finished the last big book projects. I sent them off to New York and thought, "I’ll read something from one of my stacks." I found a second pile on Jon’s side of the bed, but the list of magazines were definitely my choices. I chose a copy of "Body & Soul" magazine put it in my briefcase/purse and was going to read it at one of the many appointments I’ve been catching up on now that I’ve made my deadlines. I settled in at the allergist, pulled out the magazine and started reading. I thought, huh, it’s a fall/October theme. I didn’t realize I’d bought a "Body & Soul" that recently. Then I realized it was from last October.

I sat in the doctor’s office with a year old magazine that I had not touched, but simply put in the pile to be read later. Apparently this was later. I am, as God as my witness, going to read that magazine. The articles on food and exercise and one article on relaxation, which I apparently need a lot, are just as pertinent as when I bought it a year ago. Maybe the article on relaxation is even more pertenent? So I’ve chosen my magazine from the pile. It helped me realize that at one book, or magazine a piece I’ll never see the end of this pile of reading, so . . .

I have my magazine, yes, it is a year-old copy of "Body & Soul" but it still looks interesting. Though, to amuse myself I may go out and try to buy this year’s October issue and compare the two. I’ll see how the editorial tastes have changed in a year. I have chosen a fiction book and a nonfiction book off the pile, too. Fiction is TOO MANY WOMEN by Rex Stout. It’s a Nero Wolfe mystery and the only one that Jon, my husband, and I haven’t read. It’s out of print and we had to hunt for it. It’s got that nice old book smell that fills this bibliophile’s heart with happiness. I have the book in my briefcase ready for quick use. Nonfiction is ANIMALS IN TRANSLATION by Temple Grandin and Catherine Johnson. Temple Garndin is the main name, but as a writer I know that Ms. Johnson helped her write the book. I like giving credit where credit is due. My plan is to read the magazine and the mystery and then hit the other book. But I will allow myself to choose another magazine and fiction book as I finish things, so I will have three bits of reading material at all times. Maybe, if I do it this way I will actually begin to dig through my pile of reading goodness.

The only rule for the reading pile is that none of it can be directly linked to research. If its a book for research I’ve been reading those. It’s reading for pleasure that has gone the way of all things not in my to-do list. I have a whole different stack of books waiting for me to read them, for research. That’s still work and is much better organized, and much more read over this last year. Now, I may be inspired by the Nero Wolfe mystery, but I’m aiming to be entertained and to feed my muse. The Temple Garndin book I’m hoping to learn something and to see into a world view different from my own. For those who don’t know Ms. Garndin is an animal scientist and also has autism. She credits the latter with her career in the former. The writing is also fun and interesting or I wouldn’t have picked it up, but I picked it up primarily to learn something. I find that I never know what bit of knowledge will spark a book idea, or help me just think in a different way. As an artist you never know where inspiration will come from, or what exactly your muse is looking for until you find it. I guess in all honesty I’m not just reading for enjoyment. As a writer I suppose that’s near impossible for me. Everything I read, everything I see, touch, taste, experience, all of it goes into that great big hopper in my head so it can all be shaken together, stirred around, and eventually new ideas come out. New thoughts, new characters, and they can come from anywhere, or nowhere.

I’m reading to relax and enjoy and learn, but there is that niggling press from my muse saying read this, it’s valabule. Sometimes the niggle is to watch a show, or a movie, and heaven knows I’m behind on those, too. But I’ve learned to pay attention to that gentle push, that nudge, because there’s gold in that pile of reading somewhere I can feel it like an idea that’s almost ready to spill out of the dark and onto paper. In the end there is no innocent reading for a writer. We are always looking for something. It’s a restlessness of the mind and for me, the body. An itchy, irritating, exciting, what happens next feeling. It’s not a bad way to spend a few days, or weeks, and then the next book, which is already been bubbling to the surface in notes for weeks, will be ready to write. And then I’ll go from this restless searching, excited scatter shot exploring to letting the next book pour over me, engulf me, and all the things that I’ve learned in the next few days will be there in my head, in my fingers, some of it will end up in the next book, or maybe the book after that, or maybe it will never get used and I’ll just have learned something new for the sake of learning something new. That’s not a bad use of time either. Now, where did I put that book?

Posted by LKH on 10/28 at 09:19 AM

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Monday, October 26, 2009

The Deadline that Would not Die

The edits of DIVINE MISDEMEANORS are done. I feel apprehensive writing that last sentence as if more edits will fall from the sky, land on my desk, and yell, "Ah-ha, you only thought you were done. Muhahahaha!" This really does seem to be the edits that would not die.

Part of the problem was that Flirt, the next Anita Blake book, and Divine Misdemeanors the next Merry Gentry book crossed really, really badly this time. I’ve had books in different stages of completeness play hopscotch on my desk before but never this badly. This is the first time I’ve ever had two books from two different series in the same stage of editing at the same time with almost identical deadlines. Eek! I could go back through it all and try to find how it came about, but I think I will put my energy into trying to keep it from ever happening again. Poor Carri these are her first two books as my new Personal Assistant. I hired her initial to be web mistress and graphic artist for us, but now she’s the first two and my PA. She’s doing a great, no amazing, job, but she couldn’t have picked a worst set of deadlines to earn her stripes on. I have assured her that this was a killer schedule even by my standards but I don’t think she believes me yet. I think she’ll wait and see how the next book deadline goes. She’s so smart. But I can only say that this is the worst bunch of crazy deadlines that I can remember, and I’ve had some crazy-ass deadlines. Usually you’re six months to a year, or more away from publication when you finish an edit on a book that you wrote six months to a year before that, but as you’ll see below not true with this pair of books.

So, first to never, ever let books cross this badly again. I think everyone here and at both publishing houses would all agree. Second, to get a long, hot bath. Third, to get the hell out of Dodge and stare out at some different scenario while we lick our wounds. That last will have to wait until after Halloween. As Wiccans it’s a major holiday, Samhain, and as a parent my daughter, Trinity, still wants us to spend the night with her and I’m planning on doing that until trick or treating becomes passe. So, after Halloween Jon and I will runaway for a few days. Maybe some place warmer and sunnier than St. Louis. Very chilly, gray day here, though I have to say I do love how the autumn leaves look against the grayness. The colors seem to glow in the gloom in a way that bright day’s just don’t. This is my favorite time of year.

For all who have asked what’s what:

NEVER AFTER a collection of novellas featuring my, "Can he Bake a Cherry Pie", also stories by Sharon Shinn, Yasmine Galenorn, and Marjorie M. Liu. Never After hits the shelves tomorrow October 27th.

DIVINE MISDEMEANORS the next Meredith Gentry Fairie Princess/ Private Detective novel hits stores December 8th.

FLIRT an Anita Blake novel is aiming at Febuary/March time frame. When I have an exact date I’ll let you know. This is not the officially Anita book for the year. Think of it as more a surprise to tide you over between Divine Misdemeanors and the big Anita book in June. Of course, that presupposes I actually write the bloody thing and make the next deadline. Today I don’t want to even contemplate another deadline.

Posted by LKH on 10/26 at 08:59 PM

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