First day back in the saddle

Well, it's the first day back after a real vacation. I did try to write, but not sure I did myself any good. I kept having to go back in the scene and expand it, because I was telling, not showing. I finally gave up writing on the book for the day when I told myself out loud, "Be in the scene, Laurell, not just talking about it."

I just couldn't focus. It'll be better tomorrow. I guess I'm entitled to a little problem changing gears. It maybe one of the few times I've ever actually allowed myself to relax.

Goals for tomorrow's blog is to tell more about the vacation in detail with some of the pictures. But before that, I have to get at least four pages done on Merry. Until that's done, no other writing.

Jon and I did catch up on a boat load of comic stuff. OMG, Ron has out done himself on this last batch of images. June's coloring of the ghoul scene with Edward and Anita in the cemetery is way cool.

No pen in paradise

I unpacked the back pack that I used as carry-on on the plane and put the stuff back in my regular brief case. The back pack was so heavy that if I put it on in too big a circle I damn near fell over. My usual case had been almost as heavy, and awkward. But when I finished unpacking and repacked my case it was incredibly light.

I looked at all the stuff I'd packed, now back in proper places. I looked at the few things in the floor of my office needing to go somewhere else, and thought why was my brief case so heavy before, and why was it so light now? What was I missing?

I actually took the brief case to Jon and asked.

His reply, "You were carrying two books."

Oh. That's right. I insisted on carrying all three hundred plus pages of SWALLOWING DARKNESS, and a hundred plus pages of the next Anita book. Four hundred plus pages of manuscript will weigh you down. I had a thumb drive, and Jon backs up on another thumb drive. We have several computers and keep multiple back-ups. But I still insisted on carrying all the pages. Why?

Maybe it was remembering the great computer disk crash when we had to get Disk Savers to help us. Remember that one? Two thumb drives went down, and every other back up we had. We had angered the computer gods.

But that wasn't why I was carrying everything around with me like a turtle. It was stress. The more stressed I am the more I want around me. More pages, more books, more whatever. It's the old pack rat syndrome. When in doubt, carry it with you.

I hadn't realized how burdened I'd let myself get, until I came back from this week of vacation and literally my load is lighter. I have just as much work to do, and my deadlines have only gotten closer, but I'm calm about it. I can do it.

Maybe I really am finally beginning to understand what vacation means.

Late in the week Mary, my mother-in-law, and I were at the tiki bar having smoothies. If we drank they'd have been daquiries. Mary was wanting to write an address down from someone. She turned to me and asked, "Do you have something to write with?"

She knew I would have a pen and paper with me. I always have pen and paper with me.

I said, "No, I don't."

She looked at me, laughed, and said, "Damn, you are on vacation."

Yes, I was.

Just me, no notebook, no pen, no computer, just my thumb drive stuffed into the pocket of my cargo shorts. Me, watching the sun go down with palm trees, sea birds, and miles and miles, of miles and miles of blue water and sky. I think I needed it.

Back from vacation

We're home. It was a wonderful vacation. I may actually be getting the hang of this whole relaxing thing.

We did a lot of firsts this trip. Trinity's first sushi. She loved it. The first deep sea fishing trip for all of us, including Grandpa Art. Grandma Mary didn't come on the boat, she was afraid she'd get sea sick and ruin the trip for all of us. It was rough the day we went out. Not a sea for the faint of heart, or stomach. But we came back with so many fun stories, and pictures that she's hoping to go out next time if the sea is less tempestuous.

We'll put up pictures, and blog about what we did in more detail, but tonight I'm just happy to put something up and say we're home. The sunburns were not too bad, and we put stuff on them, and moisturized them, so that all of us came back in good condition. I missed a spot on the top of my hand when we went fishing and burned. Yes, the top of my hand. I usually get some weird sunburned patch because I miss a spot. On my shoulder, on my leg, top of the foot, some small bit of skin that I think I've slathered and I have not. So half my hand is tanned as dark as I get, which isn't dark or tanned. It's like a shade or two darker than my normal skin tone. I showed it to Trinity and said, "This is as dark as I tan."

She said, "That's it?"

"Yep, that's it."

She gave me a look, since she tans dark enough to be asked if she's Hispanic.

I said, "Now you know why I don't bother trying to tan."

She gave me a look of sympathy, and just agreed with me. This anemic golden color is just not worth it.

Writing Help Response

Been fielding a bit of critisim over the writing help blog I put up. So please let me clear up a few things.

First, Laurell didn't post that, I did, Darla. We seem to have a larger than usual number of requests about being a writer and the steps to take. Laurell does have a piece I usually send to folks about Being A Beginning Writer.

It is intended to help. I only send it to folks who have asked for it. Some folks have said it helped them. Some found the advice doesn't work for them. It doesn't match their style and method of writing. Those links are included on the bottom of the piece. I put them up for more people to find and use. Scams especially seem to be on the rise, or at least that is the impression I get from the emails. It was simply offered as a resource for those who wish to use it. I wasn't implying anyone was not a writer because they don't submit to a publisher or just never get published. If that was what I wanted to say, I would have stated it as such.

Second, people who emailed are not satisfied with writing for their own pleasure. Are those who write for themselves and no one else writers? Yes. But they do not want to be published. Not being published does not make one less of a writer. But it is the difference between a hobby and a profession. Most folks do hobbies for the simple enjoyment of doing it. If that is you, then go for it. But then again hobbyist don't write in asking about how to find an agent, how to submit to an editor, heck how to locate an editor to submit to! It is not info they want or need.

Writing like any other art is very subjective: even amongst editors. What one editor will turn down, another would love. If you should end up submiting to multiple editors (do them one at a time!), you may get conflicting statements on what works and what doesn't. It is simply a matter of taste. And in the case of editors, saleability. This is a business. Publishers are in it to make money. They may love the story and the writing, but if they suspect it will not sell then it is useless to them. Which is why you may get great rejection letters: loved your story, thought the characters were great, sorry not buying it.

The original info was aimed at those who wish to make a profession of it. Who want to see their book on the shelves in book stores. Will they succeed? I don't know, that is a big maybe. Even being bought and published is no guarantee of success. I can name several authors whose books I like, but it wasn't selling well enough for them to continue being bought by editors. If being published is your dream, you will certainly fail if you never try.

Writing Help

One of the things we seem to be getting a lot of lately, is requests on how to make your dream of being a writer come true. There is no magic formula for getting published. It isn’t like assembling a piece of furniture. There are no directions written out that will guarantee you success if you follow it exactly. What works for one author will not necessarily work for another. And each author seems to have their own ways of doing things. It’s another one of those pesky, what is right for one person isn’t right for everyone things that so often crop up in life. Still, if it is your dream then here is some places to look for help.

There are lots of books available at your library or bookstore and how-to’s on the Internet. Here are some good links to check out.

Especially check out the SFWA (Science Fiction Writers Of America), has a very good section on scams to watch out for. No one should have their dreams stolen by unscrupulous people.

David Brin: http://www.kithrup.com/brin/advicearticle.html

Lots of advice from a variety of authors http://www.eyeonbooks.com/craft.html

Learn your craft with others! http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/

Lots of very useful info on the publishing industry: http://www.sfwa.org/beware/



Darla

What we've been doing

What we've done so far:

A nature center where we could view the original flora of the area. We also saw a wild bird rehab center. We hiked. Took pictures of wild life, though admittedly most of the wild life was of the small kind; insects and arachnids. We'll post pictures when we get home.

We swam with dolphins at a research facility. Again, we'll post pictures later. Trinity and I both had a blast. Interestingly enough dolphins have no discernible odor. They don't smell fishy, or of anything really. I know they're mammals so expecting them to smell fishy maybe a prejudice on my part, but I expected some scent, other large animals have distinct odor. Wolves, big cats, you name it, the animal smells unique. Since I started writing the shapeshifters I've become more aware of scent, and I just found it interesting that dolphins were scentless to me. Maybe they aren't to their trainers, but I had one put it's beak (nose is a misnomer since they don't really have a nose like we do) pressed against my cheek in a kiss for a long time, and I could feel dolphin, but smell nothing but the ocean water. Just thought that was interesting.

Jon and his parents watched us swim, though Jon might be persuaded if we do it again. Apparently, it was fun to watch as well as participate.

Vacation blog

Typing this in bed in our hotel room. Jon had to get a wireless card for us to be able to blog. Either that or sit in the lobby. I don't think so.

Jon has just informed me that he thinks the blogging would go better if I were topless. I think less drinks for him tomorrow.

Trinity is finally tucked into her room with her first ever sunburn. We put SPF 50 on her, but she was too long in the pool and it washed off. If she gets another marathon session in the water, we'll reapply. She's not liking the sunburn much. She has the arrogance of a person who tans really well. Heck, she never wants to put sunscreen on. I think she won't argue from this point on. For the rest of us that burn either easily, or at least don't tan, sunscreen is a way of life in some place this sunny and bright.

We'll post photos later of where we've gone and what we've seen. But for now, I'm just happy to be blogging from the road.

Happy Easter and The Excuse Note

Hi! Darla here. First, let me wish a Happy Easter to all who celebrate this holiday. Hope the bunny was good to you.

Second, let me address the Blood Noir Excuse Note. Yes, I know it is the third time we have done it. We really weren't planning on doing it again, but it is back by request. Quite a few emails came in asking when it would be available, so we did one. It is meant to be fun. To the few folks who thought it was serious. Um, no, not really. But you are free to try and use it. If it works, let us know. We can all use a good chuckle.

Lastly, I apologize for missing the grammatical error. Ooops. It actually went through several iterations and I missed the you're should be your. It was just when things got rewritten, that word did not get changed when it should have. Sorry. I will repair it when I have the chance.

I hope you all had a great weekend. And remember not to just eat the ears off that chocolate bunny!

Darla

Reading material

I'm very into both the Merry book and the next Anita book. My imagination is just so there. How there?

I'm making a pile of books to take on vacation, specifically to take on the plane. I've got some research books that it's finally time to look at, and I start to get one to take and read on the plane. Then I come to my senses and realize that probably my fellow passengers and the crew would have no sense of humor about my choice of reading material.

What book is it? IMPROVISED EXPLOSIVES: How to make your own by Seymour Lecker.

Would they just take away the book on the plane, or make me get off? Or would they just keep passing by my seat more than normal, and wonder? Either way, the book stays home.

I have this image of me in my bathing suit and sun hat, lounging on the beach, reading about explosives. The image both pleases me, and is a little disturbing, but I think I'll save my fellow vacationers from the worry about my choice of reading material and leave it home. The explosives are research for Anita, so it's not the next one on the list anyway. I am taking a book on SIX-LEGGED SEX, about insect life, for the goblin court. Probably not this book, but next, but still reading ahead is never bad. It gives your imagination time to percolate.

A vacation experiment

I did eight pages of Merry today, and seventeen of Anita. Yeah, you read that right. Seventeen pages and I just cleared a hundred pages. It's unusual to hit that kind of stride before I've got about half way through a book, and I know that this is not a short book. Merry is over three hundred pages, but though I know where I'm going with it, I have a lot of choices in this section so I'm going a little slower to pick and choose among the choices. I find when there's a lot of different things that could happen in a section that unless the book is very sure of itself that I'm better off going slow, then speeding through. It saves rewriting later. Of course, if the book is sure then full steam ahead.

So the writing is going great guns, and of course, we leave on vacation tomorrow. It's not that I'm not looking forward to a trip with my family to some place warm. But, seventeen pages, and I've averaged ten pages a day for Merry for the last six days. It's the longest stretch of that much production on SWALLOWING DARKNESS to date. I've hit my stride with the book, and now I have to leave?

It is wrenching to leave a book when it's at that white heat. So, I'm not leaving the book, just home. The idea is that I'll write in the morning, except for the morning we go deep sea fishing (early start), and we'll do vacationy things in the afternoon. But that schedule will only allow me to work on Merry, which is what's due, not Anita. Unless I hit an incredible streak of production in the morning I can't make everyone wait on me to work on two books. I'll feel blessed if I can keep up the momentum on DARKNESS.

But as Sherry pointed out this week there is never a good time for me to take a break from the writing. She's right. But, dear God, seventeen pages, and I've been averaging over ten pages on most days that I sit down and work on this new Anita book. Even for me, the two books are going amazingly well. And now, I'm leaving my lovely office behind. I'm going to be working in a hotel room, or trying to. Yes, I'll have my computer with me, and my keyboard, and stuff, but it's not the same.

I'm hoping this will be a successful experiment, though. Since I never stop working, but I want to take more down time, I'm going to try and combine it. Just as the research/vacation earlier this year worked better because I had goals and was working rather than just trying to suddenly relax, maybe working a little on a 'vacation' will be the answer to taking more of them. Maybe.

We'll see starting tomorrow. Wish me luck on the plane ride. Damn phobia.

Happy Ostara

Thirteen pages of Merry. Eleven pages of Anita.

I think that says it all.

Oh, and happy spring equinox. Happy Ostara.

Sunspots, Enchanted, and Edward

I'm listening to Nine Inch Nails, the song "Sunspots". I love the line, "We'll make love in the fire and spread all the ashes around," don't know why, but it seems to say something to me about love and lust.

I've thought of a lot of things to blog about tonight. That we just finished watching the Disney movie, ENCHANTED, and it was great. All three of us highly recommend it.

But what I meant to blog about earlier in the day was that I've started the next Anita book. Yes, BLOOD NOIR, is the next Anita book and it's safely in New York getting ready to go through the final part of the process so you can all have the book the last week of May.

I'm over half way done on the Merry book, SWALLOWING DARKNESS. That's nice, over half way done. I've found my stride, at last. The scene I did today was fun and frightening, beautiful and horrific. It was a Merry moment. I can't tell you much about it without giving away some very major plot points. I'm in the end game on the book, so I can't share. Sorry. I just wanted to reassure everyone that though I'm blogging about Anita, Merry is well in hand.

I've been giving myself permission, if I finish the deadline pages early enough, to write on anything I want later in the day. What's been wanting to be written is Anita. I've never actually written two different books in two different series at the same time before. I've written one, and edited the other, but I've never attempted this much first draft of two books simultaneously. I wasn't sure it would work, but since the next Anita book is due at the end of November, it's not like the work will go to waste.

I loved the first two chapters of the Anita book yet to be titled, but then I bogged down. I just couldn't seem to bridge the next scene. I put it away for a few days and just concentrated on Merry. Then an idea came to me, or rather a way to get Edward on stage earlier, at least by phone. So, chapter three was Edward on the telephone, and it worked. Now Anita is on the ground hunting vampires out of state and Edward is there. Olaf is on stage, and I've even brought back a character oft requested that was also in OBSIDIAN BUTTERFLY, yep, Bernardo. It's like old home week.

I almost didn't do this book next since we spend most of BLOOD NOIR out of town with just Jason. I didn't want to do two books in a row where we're out of St. Louis with less than the full cast. But this was the book that needed to be next. I'll go days and not work on it, because some days it takes all day to do Merry, but more and more often I seem to be able to work on both. The voices are strong, not crossing, and the supporting cast is unique to each book. Knock on wood, so far, so good.

I actually work at one desk in the morning on Merry, then change to another desk and the second computer in the afternoon for Anita. I'd been doing different music, too, but today I didn't. Today, I had my musical score from the main play list all day. I've only found that I can't write Anita to Sarah McLachlan, and I can't write Merry to Audioslave. Other than that, it was cool.

Interviews

I just finished an e-mail interview that took me five hours to answer. I actually went through the music on my ipod from Breaking Benjamin to Finger Eleven. I didn't realize that I had five hours of music from "b" to "f". The interview was long and detailed. Wow. I'd kept putting the interview off until I actually forgot it was still pending, now, five hours later, I realize why I kept "forgetting" it. It wasn't just a Freudian slip, it was an entire Freudian negligee. But it's done, and Darla can send it off tomorrow.

I have to say that more and more interviews come in on a regular basis, which is cool, but frankly, I think the e-mail interviews take the most time now. Why? Because it gives me time to reread, rewrite, make certain the answer is what I wanted it to be. Phone interviews may not be perfect, but at least they're done and out. One of the worst things you can do to a writer is give them more time to write something. It's like that old joke where a writer apologizes that the letter is so long, but they didn't have time to write a shorter one. No time to edit.

I've actually coined a new saying: Sometimes you nail the interview; sometimes the interview nails you.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Oh, and happy St. Patrick's Day. I like totally forgot, even though I'm actually wearing green on purpose. It's always a sign that the writing is going well when I forget what day it is.

Vantage Point and eels

We saw the movie Vantage Point last night. I have to give it a mixed review. The first forty-five minutes or so, were a little too contrived. Jon and I were almost bored, and we shouldn't have been. It was a very strong opening, but the premise of going back and forth between view points just seemed unnecessary. It seemed like you could have gotten the different view points in a more linear fashion and it would have worked better. The end of the movie once they stopped being too cutesy with the view points was thrilling, and one of the most intense action sequences I've seen in awhile. Very cool.

I guess, don't pay full price, go to a matinee, or wait for DVD.

The other thing that gets mixed a review is that Jon, and our friend Richard, and his girlfriend Jess, went to a sushi restaurant. Now, I was in California when sushi hit big, so I was at parties where really bad sushi was served. So, I've avoided it for years. Last night, I thought, what the heck, I'll try again. It was very good. I had eel for the first time, and loved it. Then late in the dinner the eel decided it didn't like me. I was trying for the bathroom, to help the eel and I to part company, and my husband is being all romantic. He blocked my way, and said, "Pay the toll," it means a kiss so he'll let me pass. It's something that his parents do, and it's very sweet that he's borrowed something romantic from them. But in that moment I could not kiss him, not without risking the eel coming up at the table. I tried to get past, and he blocked my way again and said, "Pay the toll." By that point I didn't even dare open my mouth to explain, I just had to get to the bathroom. I finally got past my romantic husband, and fled to the bathroom.

It wasn't horrible as bouts of that kind go, and once the eel was on it's own again, I was fine. It made me wonder if it wasn't the eel, but too much eel. I guess if you're going to do something exotic you should take it easy the first time. I'm torn between never wanting to eat it again, and thinking that it tasted really good. Hmm, like I said a mixed review. The salmon sushi was good, and I would be willing to try other flavors of fish. So, sushi was good, but was the eel good, or not? I still can't decide. They had barbecue eel on the menu, maybe I'll try that next time. I mean, no harm in trying, right?

Made it

I've finished my pages and we can still go to the movies as planned. It's always difficult to plan around my job because some days the page count takes two hours and sometimes eight. How do you plan other activities around that? But, in a wave of optimism and wanting to celebrate that Jon and I are finally over the last lingering effects of the flu we wanted to see a movie tonight. So we bought tickets and made plans with friends, but I was worried I'd have to leave the pages half done. But no, I'm done and with a few minutes to spare before we have to leave for the movies. Yea!

I have to admit that some days when I've worked hard, and still am not done, and have to cancel plans that I feel quite punished. Once we include other people then I know I'm committed, and the plans are happening with or without my page count. Gotta go finish getting ready, Jon just came and got the dogs so they can make a last run out before we leave.

Finishing the page proofs

Finishing up the page proofs of BLOOD NOIR. I had a paragraph marked where Anita says that the Browning BDM had an ambidextrous safety. I know the Browning Hi-Power has one, but I wasn't a hundred percent certain on the BDM. So, off I trooped to the gun safe. By golly, the BDM does, indeed, have an ambidextrous safety, just the like the Hi-Power. I know there are guns out there that are lighter, and even fit my hand better, but there is just something about the feel of the Browning in my hand that is so terribly satisfying. Anyway, fact checked, and that's it.

I've handed it off to Darla to get the changes to New York, because today is drop dead day. That's a phrase in publishing that means the absolutely last day possible for something to make it's schedule. Drop dead day, what a nice phrase. I don't usually cut it this close but the flu laid me pretty low. Even now the cough is lingering, and the tiredness, but I'm feeling a whole lot better. And better, or no, the deadline was upon us.

The Browning is sitting beside me as I type this. I'd checked it earlier today with a piece of clothing, to check the fit, so when I went back to the gun safe for a second time I had to go back through the whole routine of making sure it was not loaded. Yes, the gun had been in the safe the whole time, but, it is a gun and it had been out of my sight for awhile. So, point it in a safe direction, keep your finger off the trigger, pop the magazine, then put it back in, then take the safety off, pop the magazine out one more time, and put the slide all the way back, locked. Now you can see all the way up and through; clean and empty. Put it all back together, and it's safe. Think I was being too careful? Look at some crime scene photos of what bullets can do to human flesh, and get back to me on that "too careful" thing. I like guns, but I am also a little afraid of them. A little fear is not a bad thing when it comes to dealing with things that can kill you.

Conestoga Podcast from 2007

Podcast from Conestoga 2007 in Oklahoma.

http://www.sftulsa.org/conestoga/2008/03/10/program-37-laurel-k-hamilton/ or
Hear it here.

Blood Noir Release Date

It has gotten moved up a week to May 27 from June 3.

We know everyone is disappointed that it will be coming out a week earlier than originally planned. :)

Flu

I'm waiting for the tea timer to go so I can have the first cup of the day. Must have tea, regardless of what else has gone wrong. What's gone wrong? I have the flu. Jon's apologized for giving it to me, but it wasn't like he did it on purpose. Real influenza is very contagious, and it's airborne contagious, not just touch contact. Hard not to catch if someones got a cough and you're sharing a bed with them. Yeah, and I guess we should have stopped that whole kissing thing, but, well, I just couldn't help myself. So, I have the flu.

I have my first cup of tea of the day steaming in front of me. Everything is a little better with that. I have friends who joke that I must have been British in a past life because I think everything can be made just a little more right with hot tea. I would say some stuff about reincarnation and how my path of faith believes in it, and my theories on it, but I'm running a fever. One of my rules is never to discuss religion when running a fever. It's too hard to tell if you're making sense of a topic that's already difficult to explain at the best of times.

But I have my tea, and I'm going to sip it, and do this blog, and hope to feel better. I probably should wake Jon up, and have him come down so he can help me with the dogs and everything so I can get to my desk and do my pages on Merry. Hey, I took yesterday off. My schedule doesn't really include cushion time this year.

If I get over to my office and can't think, let alone write on the book, I'll stop, and I'll go back to laying around and feeling pitiful. But I've done work in the past running fevers this high and higher. I think I've described my work ethic as puritanical, not really joking about that. But I think I am going to have to call, uncle, on trying to bull my way through this morning on my own. I thought I could do it, now I'm thinking that having help would be nice. Time to call in the troops.

Jon is better than I am, so I can call for help. One of the interesting things while Jon was so sick for this week was doing everything more alone. Jon's Mom and Dad helped a lot, but I was still cooking dinner, doing the kid thing, and taking care of Jon, as well as getting my pages done each day. It reminded me how truly difficult it is not to have that partnership so you can divide and conquer. I was raised in a single parent household, and this week has reminded me how difficult that is, so my hat is off to all of you who do the single parenting thing for real.

Thanks to everyone

Thanks to everyone that gave so many positive messages on the My Space page. With Darla's encouragement I actually went out and read them.

Here's to all my fellow gamers, either current or once upon a time, who feel a debt of gratitude to Gary Gygax. Here, too, a thank you to all of you who just wanted to send a note of encouragement to me. Your notes let me know I wasn't clear enough in the last blog.

I never have doubts that the writing is what I was meant to do. I took just enough pre-med to know that medicine was not for me. The more real police I interview, the more I know I couldn't do it for real. Or rather, I don't want to have a job where life and death really hang on the line. I love that I can always rewrite tomorrow. I've written death scenes and undone them the next day. I like that about my job, and wish, only, that it could work the same in real life. As for being a politician or diplomat and help bring peace to the world, well, I just don't think I'm temperamentally suited to diplomatic work. I can be diplomatic when I must, but it's not my natural bent. That's putting it mildly.

I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I was meant to do. There are simply days when I hear old voices telling me that what I do isn't exactly a serious job. Thanks for letting me know how much my writing has meant to all of you. Maybe this positive experience will help me look on the My Space page more often, and the forum, too. I've got to stop being such a big baby about the tech someday.

I did figure out how to use a thumb drive so I could download files to print from other parts of the house this week. I had no choice, my techies were either sick or trapped home by nine inches of snow. But I did it, I managed to print my pages all week. Brownie point for me.

Gary Gygax

I was having one of those days yesterday where you question why you aren't out there researching a cure for cancer, solving real murders, or trying to find a solution for the middle eastern violence. Most days I'm fine, but every once in awhile when things have been stressful, I question my role in the grand scheme of things. Do you guys do that?

Then I heard about Gary Gygax, the creator of Dungeons and Dragons, dieing at the age of 69. First, I was surprised that he was close to 70, that seemed wrong, somehow, that the ultimate gamer had grown old.

I remember the first time I played D & D in high school. It was damn near a conversion experience, I don't mean religion, but that moment that you find something that just fills up a piece of you that was empty before. There is certainly a God, or Goddess, shaped hole in each of us. (All you atheists out there just puzzle me, so sorry.) But there are also other needs, not just wants, but needs. Something about D & D filled a need for me. We'd be sitting in someones basement or living room, or even kitchen, but the inside of our heads were somewhere else. Somewhere that had orcs, elves, dragons, and dozens of other fantastical creatures and people that never existed here around the kitchen table, or the basement sofa. For most of us, gaming helped us find friends, a place to belong, and like every good hobby, it gave us something to think about besides homework and not fitting in. For those few hours, we all belonged. We all worked as a team (okay all you evil campaigners, at least be lawful evil, that way there's some cooperation), and we adventured together to the kind of places we could only read about in books. The reading was great, and most of the gamers I knew were voracious readers, but reading is a solitary act, and D & D let us do out loud in a group what was usually private and alone. D & D is the bookworm's triathlon.

My first book NIGHTSEER, grew out of a campaign I Dungeon Mastered (I know it's Game Master now, but I'm old school and it will always be DM, to me). Alright the book grew out of my frustration with my gaming group. They just wouldn't cooperate in this great world I'd created for them. Finally one of the guys said, "Fine, then go write it as a book, and stop trying to use it as a campaign." He was absolutely right. It would take me about four more years to actually get the courage up to try and write a book, but would I have thought of it, if I hadn't tried to fit my world into the world of D & D? I don't know.

My grandmother hated that I played. She didn't think it was a suitable occupation for a girl. Years later when my first book came out and it was magic, elves, and dragons, she apologized to me. "How was I supposed to know it would be so important to you?" The apology was nice to hear, and if you knew my grandmother, you'd value it for the truly rare moment it was.

I went to a Christian college, because it was the only one close enough to home for me to commute. But on the campus you didn't dare confess to reading fantasy or science fiction and playing D & D was considered Satanic worship. No, really, no joke, I had that said to my face. So all of us that gamed kept it pretty quiet, just safer that way. My first husband and I fell in love partially because we both played. I still remember the day we admitted to each other that we were both "evil" and played D & D. We actually gamed with the same group eventually through late college. We had two groups in California after college and it was pretty much our social network.

Do I game now? No. I've tried, but whatever part of the mind is used and happy during gaming, is the same part that writes for me. So after a full day at the desk making books, I don't find it relaxing to game. It's like finishing a marathon and being told you have to run just a few more miles.

Jon and I tried to game together, but I've grown too cautious. I'm the person who carries that extra twenty feet of rope, and a host of poles, so I can tie it all together and poke at things. My longest living character, Sidon the Cautious, well, I chose the Sidon part, but my high school gaming group chose the latter. Sidon retired at 11th level and took ship to far lands, the only survivor, when the rest of my gaming group rolled evil characters and the DM lost control on that whole assassination problem.

So on the day when I was wondering if what I did for a living actually mattered, I was reminded how much what Gary Gygax created meant to me. Is it an exaggeration to say that I found my career, my first love, and good friends through D & D? Maybe, but if it's not absolutely true, then it's close, so thank you Gary Gygax. Thanks to you and everyone that helped make your vision real to the rest of us.

LKH Bit 03/05/08

New comic releases, chapter one of Blood Noir. Writers Digest

NEW COMIC RELEASES
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Issue #9 of Guilty Pleasures is out today. Also Marvel Spotlight will feature Anita and is available today also.

BLOOD NOIR
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Chapter one of Blood Noir is available for a sneek peek:
http://www.laurellkhamilton.org/Anita/BloodNoirChapterOne.html

WRITERS DIGEST
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The April issue is available on newsstands now and features Laurell on the cover and inside with an interview. Or you can order it online at http://www.writersdigest.com/store/magdisplay.asp?id=WD0408

That's it for this bit!
Darla

Schedule called on account of weather and illness

Today feels like Saturday, but not in a good way. Jon has the flu, as in the real flu not the stomach viruses that we all normally call the flu. Flu is a cough, fever, body aches, tiredness, and some other symptoms, but nothing like a stomach virus. Learn something new everyday; though we actually learned this yesterday.

It's sleeting here and we're supposed to get anywhere from seven to ten inches of snow and sleet today, so the schools are closed. Trinity is still asnooze in her bed upstairs. Jon is, too, because sleep is one of the things you can do to get better faster from this thing.

Darla is staying home today, part weather, and part that she's been tapped for reading the page proofs of BLOOD NOIR. Jon and I did the last go around. Darla and I did the one before that. I've given her a list of things to mark so I can go back over them mostly research stuff to make sure I put it all in, and got it right. Page proofs are do this week in New York.

Weather is keeping everyone else home, too. Some have kids that are suddenly off school, and for the rest I'm just saying, stay home. It's not worth it in this weather. Of course, the roads aren't that bad right this second but it's been sleeting off and on, and now the snow is starting to really come down. The wind has picked up and is driving it sideways, and all I can think is that the snow is drifting to the ground like a car drifting sideways. (Maybe cars really will become a hobby for me; I'm certainly thinking about them enough.)

I'm drinking the first cup of tea of the day. The dogs are huddled around my feet wondering why I haven't fed them yet. It's a week day and they know the routine. By seven they are usually fed, but like I said, it's sort of the weekend schedule. So the puppies can wait until I've had a cuppa.

I'm having trouble letting go of my schedule as it falls to ruins around me, one of the downsides of being morbidly organized about work is that when the organization doesn't go as planned it really bugs me. But I've still got Merry pages to do; I'm over two hundred pages in now. Yea!

I'm going to finish my tea and watch the snow come down. I'm about fifteen to twenty minutes away from supposedly being at my desk, but there's no school today, and my hubby is sick, and no one else is here to tend the dogs. Soooo . . . I'll drink my tea, feed the puppies, leave a note for the kiddo telling her to get cereal, and hopefully get to work by 8:30. It's a goal.

Driving the Foose

It's been awhile since I got to drive the Foose. Sunday was such a beautiful day that it just needed to be done. Besides, today the weather is nasty again, and even Charles says, driving the Foose on ice and snow, probably not my best move.

He came over for awhile yesterday, and Jon, unfortunately, was beginning to feel under the weather as in sick. So we ordered out for food, then needed to pick it up. I started to get the keys for the Acura MDX automatically, then Charles said, "We aren't going to drive the mustang?"

I said, "Well, only if you drive. It's been too long for me." I made it sound like it was a hardship if he had to drive, so we should take the Acura. The look on his face made me realize I'd said a silly thing. Charles did not see it as a hardship to drive the Foose for the first time. Of course, he didn't.

Jon stayed in, trying to feel better, and we went off to get the food. Beautiful day, Charles is enjoying the car. He let me know just how well-behaved Jon has been when driving with me in the Foose. Charles doesn't quite realize how wimpy I am, and he made the car do what it's meant to do. VROOM, is not just a word for cartoon cars. The Foose wants to go faster, it just does. It is not a car for moderation.

Charles drove it smoothly and effortlessly. But it's my car, and I still can't drive it smoothly or effortlessly. I was enjoying the drive, enjoying the car getting to stretch it's legs, enjoying Charles, enjoying the car, but there was this niggling part of me that wasn't happy. I realized, I'm intimidated by my own car. There are moments when I still wonder, what was I thinking?

Then we get passed by some other small, expensive sports car, and the driver looks at my Foose. Almost no matter what other sports car someone is driving, they give my red and black beauty a glance. Is it too teenage boy to enjoy that?

Charles just said, I had to stop complaining and just drive the car. That isn't exactly what he said, but it was the gist of it. We dropped off a part of his own mustang that he'd taken out of the engine, so another car geek friend can weld it. It's either the whole differential, or part of it. Either way, Charles pulls into his friends driveway. Charles opens the drivers side door but leaves the engine going. Partly, to remind himself not to get distracted talking cars, and part to simply let his friend hear the engine, I think.

His friends comment, "Do I just kill you now?"

Charles explained it was my car, and this was his first time driving it. The look on his friend's face was a look I've seen on several car geek faces. The Foose is a fine piece of machinery. The errand done, we drove to the restaurant to pick up the take-out order. We'd talked about my not driving my car on the way. By the time we came out of the restaurant, Charles said, "You want to drive home?"

Honestly, the answer was, no. But it's my car. It really is. I have to learn how to drive it. Damn it.

The car had to be backed out, and it was on a slight incline. The combination made it exciting. I think I killed the engine at least six times. Twice, had to stop backing up because Charles, yelled out, car! I managed to scare the preppy young men in the truck beside me, who were unloading some sort of large present. Charles offered to back it out for me, finally, because this was the hardest part. But, by then, I was angry, and I said, "No, it's my car, I will back it out."

Anger seems to work for me, because soon there after I successfuly backed out. It wasn't pretty, but it did the job. I am happy to say I had no problem turning onto the main road. I even had a stop light and I had no problem there either. Yea!

Then there was the turn into my subdivision. I have no idea why I couldn't get it, but I couldn't. First, I was letting the clutch out too soon, then I was not giving it enough gas, then . . . Who knows? But at one point I killed the engine with the nose of the Foose in traffic, so that some poor driver had to stop and let me attempt to back up into the turn lane. I finally got it, lurching, and so not smooth, but by that time I was just happy to not be on a busy road with other cars.

Drove home, into the driveway, then I had Charles park it in the garage. Why? Because his motorcycle was parked in such a way that it was chancy. I didn't want to hit his bike, or scratch my car. Also, the turn into the garage is interesting with the Foose, and the hood is high enough that it's very hard to tell how close you are to the end of the garage wall. Even Jon has trouble and his spatial orientation is much better than mine.

I drove it home, but didn't park it. Is that a defeat, or just wisdom? I promise to get better at parking the Foose when there is not a motorcycle in danger of being hit. Charles loves his Harley, and the Foose has let me know what it means to have affection for a mechanical device.

Charles agrees with Jon that I'm doing well. That I'm actually picking it up pretty quickly. All I can say, if this is quick, I'd hate to see slow. But then I scared myself on Sunday, killing the engine in traffic. Both of them tell me I'm being too harsh on myself. Me, too hard on myself? Never, or is that always?

Tibetan singing bowls

The Tibetan bowl class was interesting. It was both spiritual, relaxing, and a physical work out. You work in pairs and hit the bowls with padded mallets, to make them ring and vibrate. They are laid out around your partner who is on a mat on the floor. It's a lot of moving around. Funny how so many of the Eastern spiritual practices use both body,mind and spirit; yoga, ti-chi, martial arts in general. Yes, many of them have been brought to the West and made into something more mundane, more physical and less spiritual, but the original intent was for the practice to help develop all of a person. All includes your body, as well as your spirit. I like being able to move and pray at the same time. I guess I'm just not a stand-still kind of person, not in anyway.

Chamber of Commerce and Bert

I was honored by the Chamber of Commerce. Not something you really expect as a writer. But, apparently, the idea is that by writing about St. Louis and the surrounding area I'm bringing in business and raising the areas profile on a larger scale. Nifty.

I kept thinking that Bert Vaughn, Anita's boss/business manager/ would so be a member of his chamber of commerce. He would so have been there shaking hands, smiling, making connections, working that room. Can't you just see it; Animators Inc. as one of the sponsoring businesses? I had the idea that because of Anita's high profile in the media that the other chamber of commerce members might want Bert to bring Anita in to meet them, or even make a speech. It would so not be her element. No, definitely not, but I think Bert would thrive in it.

What would Anita's speech be about? I can see Bert making a speech about how you can take an ability that many people see as a problem, or even a curse, and turning into a very profitable business. Anita and I don't always like Bert, but we have to acknowledge that he was the one that got people interested in raising the dead for money. It was Bert who first thought of approaching the historic societies, and the genealogy people. He was the one who first thought to ask therapists if their patients would benefit from one more talk with dear old dad, or mom. Let's face it, without Bert's business acumen Animators Inc would never have existed. Anita might have gone on to get her master's in preternatural biology, and she might have been out in the field studying the Lesser Smoky Mountain Troll, or something more dangerous. I was always interested in animals that could eat me, more than plant eaters. There'd have been a small percentage chance that she and Richard might have met in some biology class or seminar. Who knows what might have been.

But Bert recruited Anita straight out of college, and he'd already found Manny Rodriquez. That was the beginning of Animators Inc. That was the beginning of Anita and Manny hunting vampires, and putting them in place to be vampire executioners. Without Bert, she wouldn't have been there for the police to ask for help with the preternatural crimes. Without Bert Anita might never have met Jean-Claude. Without Bert's business success and money skills, so much wouldn't have happened. Listening to the chamber of commerce speakers talk about their jobs and how they got started and built their businesses, made me realize how truly pivotal Bert has been. I think of him as a minor character, but in the grand scheme of things his effect on Anita and her world has been anything but minor.

Funny, how me going to something so far outside my usual experience as a chamber of commerce awards banquet made me look at one of my characters in such a different way.

Tonight I'm going to something else that's outside the usual for me; a Tibetan bowl class. Singing bowls, hand made, and attuned to the different chakras (energy centers of the body). I've never been to anything like it before. I wonder what I'll learn, and how it will make me think about my world? Maybe it will just be about Jon and I and real life, but I find that most things feed into my writing. An occupational hazard, I guess.

I'll leave you with a quote, part mine, and part Jon's. I've said the first part of the quote for years, but Jon added the last bit, and it just works, like all of us obsessed individuals, it works.

Blessed are the obsessed; they get shit done.